Anna-Emerson

  Alice and I left our home as soon as it was dark out. We went through the woods and we haven't stopped walking all throughout the night and into the morning. Alice fell asleep as I carried her on my back, trying to get as far away as I could. I couldn't imagine stopping as I thought of the home we were leaving. I knew that the other men in the town wanted me to feel as strongly about becoming independent as they did. They wanted to have a war. They wanted to fight for it. But I honestly could not consider it. All of those men who want to fight have a family and a home. They all have sons to carry on their names. I only have Alice, and she only has me. Leaving her is almost impossible, especially after our parents passed.

     Although it has been almost a month now, I still haven't told Alice that they aren't coming back. Or actually that they can't come back. It has been very difficult to keep this from her. She still believes that they are coming back home, which is the main reason that she did not want to leave. I could never find the right time or place to tell her that they died trying to make our lives a little bit better.

       Right now my only concern is to find a place for Alice and I to sleep without fear. We will take a break now and then since our home is long out of sight. But as for a new place to call home, that will take a bit longer to find.

Alice and I had to leave in the middle of the night. Some of the people who live in our town knew our father as a man who respected the ways of Britain and seeing as how a revolution seems to be in our near future, emotions are taking over the neighbors we used to call our friends. They are taking their anger out on us which is painful. To see his name being blackened on a daily basis only because he loved his home country was difficult for us. We knew that he wanted freedom, and how much he loved his new home. But no one seems to care. All they know is that he never stopped loving his first home and that made him a traitor in their eyes.

Neither of us could have left the house in fear of what might happen. We were cursed at, spit on and shunned but I did not want Alice to endure any worse. If they began to try to hurt us physically, I don't know what I would have done to protect her. It shames me to know how easily they turned against us and did not even look us in the eyes any longer. This used to be a town where people loved each other simply for being there for one another. Now it is all or nothing. You are either with them or against them. We never had a chance to choose. They chose our fate for us based on our father.

If running is the only way to protect the only person I have left, well just call me a coward.

As I have predicted, this day has left me drowning in my tears. I had been woken just before dawn by mine sweet angel Anna. The very moment I had realized the date today, I had to hold in the tears and the sniffles as I held little Anna so that she may not think something be wrong. I cannot let her know that I be weak at heart for when she needs me in her future, she may be feared to come to me. Later on mine dearest husband took Anna to see the creatures we keep in our stables. Anna has always been one who admired those things. She does not even seem to mind the smell so much. I find that very amazing, as if she is mine own mother flesh and blood. She very much did adore those creatures as much as mine little one does.

I went back to mine mothers house as soon as Matthew and Anna went to the stables. I went to the room that was mine throughout mine childhood. I sat on mine old chair and looked at the room recalling the childhood that I spent with her. She and I would pray every night together on mine bed. She nursed me while I was sick and helped me when I needed her.

Suddenly I realized, I have to let her go. I can not dwell on the fact that she is gone. I have to be there for mine little Anna so that I may leave her some memories as beautiful as the ones mine mother left me.

            It would be exactly one year come sunrise since mine mother has passed. Mine poor little Anna never had the honor of meeting her grandmother. I chose to name mine daughter Anna, after mine mother, for mother had not told me the names she wished for the child before she passed. She had said that it was an honor to let her name mine child that was in my womb, but I believe that she would have found it more of an honor if I had told her that the chosen name was Anna. I have loved her too much to completely let her out of mine life. Now I haves me a little reminder of her. A beautiful, sweet reminder.

I nearly broke down in tears yesterday while I was rummaging through some of mother's old things. I found a little poppet that she had been sewing for little Anna. I took the poppet to mine little one and it seemed as though she had fallen in love with it. As if she knew it was meant for her as a gift from the grandmother who loved her before she come to this world.

As I left the home that once belonged to my mother, I examined everything and plan to permanently keep the images in my head. I be hoping that no one touch the home so that when little Anna grows a bit more, I may take her to visit the home that belonged to her grandmother.

Mine dearest husband truly understands how I am feeling about the coming anniversary of my mother's death. He has been sweet and caring as he noticed that I was becoming quiet. I simply do not feel like talking much. All I do is think about her. I still think of her even though nearly a year has passed. I sincerely think she was a spirit that will remain in my heart for eternity.

As the years have flown away, mine dearest Emily is growing more and more radiant. I cannot believe she had married two year ago to the neighbor boy Matthew Lockhart. He has turned into a very handsome young man and he has a good strong name that he is giving to mine grandchildren. Oh yes, how could I forget that Emily is holding another child in her stomach. Her second one, which she is hoping will be a girl. She already has two twin boys, Jacob and Samuel who are one year old. Emily gave me the honor of naming this coming child. If it be a girl I am thinking of the name Rebecca, and if it be a boy probably the name Nathan.

I may also have failed to mention that Joseph and I are no longer on good terms. As it turns out, he has known Goody Nevins. Yes, the Goody Nevins that had called herself mine best and dearest friend for years had a child with mine husband Joseph. I probably wouldn't have been so hostile towards her if she had told me the truth. I was happy for her when she was having a child, thinking that she had found happiness with a mysterious man until I found out it was Joseph. It hurt me deeply to think she would not tell me that she had known him. But at least mine daughter Emily has a husband who is honest and has a good name.