Amber-Alas

    Well I don't know exactly where to start. So much has occured in the past 4 months. Remember his

two daughters I wrote about? They are driving me ludacris! Everytime I try to do something with Micheal

they are always there. They never want to leave us alone together.Ever since Michael and I told them that

we are going to adopt a a 3 year old. His name is Richard.I think maybe there just jealous. I so happy to

bring someone new into the family. Maybe this baby will make me feel good.  My eyesight in my left eye is

completly gone. So its harder for me to do anything. I write slower and do everything slower. I love that

Michael is very patient with me. He understands me even though his daughters are impatient. I honestly

thought that they liked me. I was wrong. Yesterday they told there Father that they overheard me

speaking with my ex husband. They made up this whole story. This isn't the first time that they do things

like this.Good thing that he didn't believe them.I know deep down inside that the older daughter Elizabeth

does want a family with us. But since her older sister doesn't want to open up with me neither does she.

They need to get used to me being around.I know I wont have much time with Anne but I know that I'll

be leaving her with a loving father. I am frightened by the fact that my time here will be over soon. Before

I die Im going leave my journal to Elizabeth just to show her that I do care because we will be a happy

family!!!

        Well I'm happy to say that I found somebody new. This man, real man of God makes me so happy.His name is Micheal Acosta. I have been with him for the past couple months. I believe 8 months.He has two daughters named Elizabeth and AnnMarie Acosta. We are very happy together. He understands my situation of becoming blind soon and not knowing when I'm going to pass away. He says he'll be here for me. We want to start a family. The only problem is that he lives in a city called Amesbury. Amesbury is a city here in Essex County, Massachusetts. I decided I'm going to leave this farm. I'm finally going to move on with my life.I am going to miss this place. I have so many memories here. Adam my son has moved on with his. He got married. I have given all the money that I ever saved up to Adam. He has  a wife to support him and now I have Michael. God doesn't want me to be miserable. I may have a little time to live but I'm going to make the best of it. I always wonder how my life is going to be when I loose my eyesight. How difficult it is going to be. I remember how Matthew my youngest son would always help me out. He wrote a letter to me a couple weeks ago letting me know how happy he is in New, York with his step mother and cheating father. I believe there searching for him because of the great sin he committed. I hope they catch him. But anywho, I'm here in my room waiting for Michael to come home so that we could eat dinner together. He's coming over to talk about the whole moving situation. I honestly can't wait until me and his daughters get along. I don't have a daughter so I think it will be a wonderful experience. I can take them out and have brunch. My problem is that they're both daddy's girls!!