Amber-Alas

     Today was a hectic day! I do not even know where to begin.Today students in my class were being so disrespectful. They would not bother to listen to me or pay attention to what I was trying to teach them.What suprised me the most, was the fact that Isabel was the worst!I was not going to tell her father but, I felt like I had to or else she would think it was okay to act in an unmannerly way. So I come home , planning to tell Adam about her behavior and I see him sitting quietly on our bed. I walk in and he is staring at my with tears in his eyes. I asked him what was wrong. Hoping it was not the question I have been trying to aviod for the past couple of years. What a suprise! It was the question. He asked me why we have not yet had children yet. I did not know what to say. I wanted to tell him but i was shakened by what his reaction may be. Maybe he would get angry or not want to speak with me. I was feeling confused, so I walked away. I carried on with doing chores around the house but, I was feeling convicted with the whole situation. A couple of hours passed and Adam was not speaking to me. I went into the kitchen to encounter him. I started off telling him about Isabel, he did not seem to care at all. So I got to the point. I told him I was barren. There was a complete silence between us for a while. He told me this cannot be true and simply walked away. All of this happened I would say an hour ago. I have not spoken to him and he has not spoken to me. I do feel like I do not have any burdens any longer.

Mrs. Evans

  Hello my name is Sarah Evans. I am currently 26 years of age. I live in Oxford County, Maine with my husband Adam and step child Isable. They have been apart of my life for the past 6 years.I married him in 1769.My step daughter Isabel is 10 years old. Her mother died when she was born. Which was my husbands former wife. She passed away beacuse she was very ill. I have a secret that I have not told my husband Adam yet.Im barren. Yes we may have a beautiful girl Isabel but I always wanted to have my own child. I became barren when I was married to a man named Eric Soliven. I was suppose to stay with him but luckily he passed away. He would abuse me and I could not take it anymore. I never told anyone. I did not want anyone to worry. I think it was a mistake not saying anything because now my mother and I are not speaking. She is not speaking to me because she thinks I am running away from a great furture. Which is not the case.I know sooner or later my mother will speak to me again. Who knows? maybe one of these days I can put my pride aside and take my horse Lucky and go visit her.I still do not know what she saw in him,he is a coot and I am so glad that he is not in my life. Eva Russo my mother thinks that I have something to do with the death of my ex husband Eric Soliven. Which is LUDACRIS! Yes even though I was very miserable I dealt with it. God just so happened to save my life and I guess by takeing away his. Eric passed away in 1768. I was with him for two whole years.

    Well I don't know exactly where to start. So much has occured in the past 4 months. Remember his

two daughters I wrote about? They are driving me ludacris! Everytime I try to do something with Micheal

they are always there. They never want to leave us alone together.Ever since Michael and I told them that

we are going to adopt a a 3 year old. His name is Richard.I think maybe there just jealous. I so happy to

bring someone new into the family. Maybe this baby will make me feel good.  My eyesight in my left eye is

completly gone. So its harder for me to do anything. I write slower and do everything slower. I love that

Michael is very patient with me. He understands me even though his daughters are impatient. I honestly

thought that they liked me. I was wrong. Yesterday they told there Father that they overheard me

speaking with my ex husband. They made up this whole story. This isn't the first time that they do things

like this.Good thing that he didn't believe them.I know deep down inside that the older daughter Elizabeth

does want a family with us. But since her older sister doesn't want to open up with me neither does she.

They need to get used to me being around.I know I wont have much time with Anne but I know that I'll

be leaving her with a loving father. I am frightened by the fact that my time here will be over soon. Before

I die Im going leave my journal to Elizabeth just to show her that I do care because we will be a happy

family!!!

        Well I'm happy to say that I found somebody new. This man, real man of God makes me so happy.His name is Micheal Acosta. I have been with him for the past couple months. I believe 8 months.He has two daughters named Elizabeth and AnnMarie Acosta. We are very happy together. He understands my situation of becoming blind soon and not knowing when I'm going to pass away. He says he'll be here for me. We want to start a family. The only problem is that he lives in a city called Amesbury. Amesbury is a city here in Essex County, Massachusetts. I decided I'm going to leave this farm. I'm finally going to move on with my life.I am going to miss this place. I have so many memories here. Adam my son has moved on with his. He got married. I have given all the money that I ever saved up to Adam. He has  a wife to support him and now I have Michael. God doesn't want me to be miserable. I may have a little time to live but I'm going to make the best of it. I always wonder how my life is going to be when I loose my eyesight. How difficult it is going to be. I remember how Matthew my youngest son would always help me out. He wrote a letter to me a couple weeks ago letting me know how happy he is in New, York with his step mother and cheating father. I believe there searching for him because of the great sin he committed. I hope they catch him. But anywho, I'm here in my room waiting for Michael to come home so that we could eat dinner together. He's coming over to talk about the whole moving situation. I honestly can't wait until me and his daughters get along. I don't have a daughter so I think it will be a wonderful experience. I can take them out and have brunch. My problem is that they're both daddy's girls!!